HOLLYWOOF NEWS Section A
The Hollywoof News
Bombing of Local War Headquarters
LUCASFILM STUDIOS-Helmeted men in strange vehicles were seen attacking a building in famous movie producer/director George Lucas's movie lot. Accidently picked up on film, people may be watching it soon, thinking it to be a movie (Heck, maybe they've been watching it for decades already!). As cover-up, the attackers have made books, videos, etc. that have the "making" of this film and have, using computer, created an artificial George Lucas on these explaining the "making" of "his" film. Police investigators recently discovered who the leader of the gang was: Luke "Jedi" Skywalker, wanted in twelve star systems by the Galactic Empire for rebelling and impersonating Mark Hamil. Police are searching as you read this.
-Domination Dog
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HOLLYWOOF NEWS Section B
The Rebels Beat The Stormtroopers
REBEL BASE, YAVIN-The Yavin Rebels beat the Endor Stormtroopers 30-29 yesterday. It was looking bad, but Coach Yoda didn't want to give up. Assistant Coach Kenobi said that their best player, Skywalker (# 33), who was injured, was their last hope. Coach Yoda said there was another. It turned out that, to the dismay of Stormtrooper Coach Vader, that the only female player, Organa (# 34) hit the home run that won the game.
-David Ganssle